I came across an interesting article by Pro Bronson in the New York Mag about how we often go about praising children- how when we praise them for their achievements we are actually doing them a great dis-service. It is well worth a read and makes (to me) some worthwhile points to remember as I head towards the next school term.

The article talks about how children who are so often praised for their perceived ability in a particular skill often give up easily when faced with new challenges, while those who are praised for their effort and processing ability are so much more able to meet challenges full on and do significantly better.

“I am smart, the kids’ reasoning goes; I don’t need to put out effort. Expending effort becomes stigmatized—it’s public proof that you can’t cut it on your natural gifts.”

Telling kids they’re clever all the time does no-one any good!

“Having high self-esteem didn’t improve grades or career achievement. It didn’t even reduce alcohol usage in later life. And it especially did not lower violence of any sort. (Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think very highly of themselves, debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for low self-esteem.”

“Sincerity of praise is also crucial. Just as we can sniff out the true meaning of a backhanded compliment or a disingenuous apology, children, too, scrutinize praise for hidden agendas. Only young children—under the age of 7—take praise at face value: Older children are just as suspicious of it as adults…. by the age of 12, children believe that earning praise from a teacher is not a sign you did well—it’s actually a sign you lack ability and the teacher thinks you need extra encouragement…. a teacher who praises a child may be unwittingly sending the message that the student reached the limit of his innate ability, while a teacher who criticizes a pupil conveys the message that he can improve his performance even further.… A child deprived of the opportunity to discuss mistakes can’t learn from them.”

The whole well researched article makes good reading and well worth the time out for an on-line read. The digital immigrants can even print it out if they want!